


Adjustment

by Larkawolfgirl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 09:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11825799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: Riku had never wanted their relationship to change, but after everything, it was inevitable. He should be the one to step aside, but Sora and Kairi make it so difficult to do so.





	Adjustment

**Author's Note:**

> I've been so angsty to finish something these last few days, so the fact that I came up with this idea and wrote it all in a single day has me ecstatic. I'm also really tired and didn't know what to call this.

It was funny in retrospect that as much as Riku had wanted his life to change, he never wanted their relationship to change— _not really_. Teasing Sora for his feelings for Kairi and flaunting his own had never been more than a game between children, only taken too far and twisted because of the tug of overwhelming darkness. His feelings had been too strong for his own good—for his true desires to withstand. Because he never could have denied the fact that he did like Kairi (or Sora for that matter), but it had always been the three of them, and as much as their peaceful life left him reaching for more, _they_ had always been enough as they were. More, the word that always hung in the back of his mind, was not worth trading the special bond between them.

But **Ansem** had changed everything, and Riku knew things could never be the same again. Too much time apart, too much darkness, too much complication. They were matured beyond their time and weighed down by things no one should.

Riku was well aware that he was the one that no longer fit. It was his fault, after all. Besides, anyone could see that Sora and Kairi were made for each other. That—as well as shame—kept Riku in the shadows, only helping the two of them from behind a hood.

It didn’t matter that Kairi realized it was him or that Sora cried for his sake. He was still the one that needed to take a step back, even if he was allowed to stay within their line of sight.

He had made peace with this fact when Sora—crazy, selfless Sora—followed him into the Realm of Darkness. Of course, Riku was touched. Through everything, Sora never gave up on him. The eyes he set on him were as clear and understanding as they always had been, if not brighter now. There was a shift in demeaner, somehow more open than before. Sora had always been like that—never one to hide behind personas like Riku, never one to be afraid of others’ opinions. Yet, this was different; this was more.

“We need to find a way out,” Sora said.

 _We need to find you a way out_ , Riku thought, a part of him believing he deserved to be here. Aloud, he hummed in agreement.

They searched aimlessly for a long while. Eventually, Riku’s injuries couldn’t be ignored, and he gave in to resting his weight onto Sora who held him without protest.

“I see the shore over there. Let’s rest awhile.”

“Yeah,” Riku choked out. Sora didn’t belong here. Irrational blame refused to lift from his shoulders.

When they settled in the sand, Sora sat much too close. As horrible as the place was, the view was breathtaking, and Riku longed to tug Sora to him and forget everything else. As if reading his thoughts, suddenly Sora’s head found his shoulder.

Riku stiffened. Perhaps he was just tired.

“Sure is beautiful. Almost makes you forget where we are.”

“Yeah.” Riku’s mouth felt dry.

“Riku?” Sora asked in a voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“Hmm?”

“We’ll be fine, even if we don’t find a way out. We’ll take care of each other. And Kairi and everyone else will be fine without us. We—did our part, okay?”

“You shouldn’t have followed me here.”

Sora’s head jolted up. He took Riku’s hand in his, squeezing tight enough to bruise. “Don’t be stupid! As if I would let you go fight Xemnas alone. I don’t care if it’s to the Realm of Darkness, or the Underworld, or wherever, I’m never leaving your side again. I just got you back, and I’m not about to lose you again.”

Laughter bubbled in Riku’s throat. Of course, Sora would think like that. He had traveled numerous worlds first to find Kairi, then him. He wouldn’t give up that easily. Riku squeezed his hand back, reveling in the pleasant warmth there. “Thanks, Sora.”

Sora chuckled. “Well, duh. You’re my best friend in all the worlds.”

“Even more than Kairi?” He instantly regretted the question. It was cruel, and he didn’t want to hear him confirm his suspicions.

“Nah. There’s nothing to compare.” He was smiling that stupid humungous grin that meant nothing was wrong in the world (which was entirely unfitting for this situation, yet so fitting for Sora).

“God, you’re stupid.” Riku sighed, heart doing circles in his chest. Why did Sora have to make him feel this way?

“Am not,” he pouted.

Riku couldn’t help poking at his cheek which was puffed out adorably. “Are so.”

“Why? Cause I love you both?”

Riku’s heart stopped. Actually _stopped_. No, Riku was the stupid one. He didn’t mean it like that—he couldn’t. It took real effort to keep his face stoic. “I mean, the list is pretty long. Where do you want me to start?”

Sora punched him lightly in the shoulder (but Riku noted how he used his other hand so as not to let go of Riku’s hand). “You’re mean. Why am I even friends with you?”

“Cause you _loove_ me so much,” he teased.

Something ignited in Sora’s eyes. He crossed his arms and nudged that much closer to Riku. “You’re lucky I do.”

He wasn’t wrong.

There was a long silence as they just watched the ocean waves lapping at the sand, both illuminated by the silver moonlight cutting through the palpable darkness. It was reminiscent of old times, and before he knew it Riku’s hand had drifted up to Sora’s shoulder. Sora’s face shifted, and Riku could feel him smile against his side.

Despite everything, it was nice. The heaviness Riku had carried with him for nearly two years felt miles away. They were relatively safe at the moment, and somehow Sora seemed content to share this fate with him. A thought took form in Riku’s mind that he was glad. Kairi could not get in their way here.

Immediately, he shook the thought away. It must be the place, the darkness inside him waking again. No matter how peaceful it seemed, this was still darkness incarnate, and they couldn’t forget that.

“We need to leave.” This time he meant both of them.

“Right,” Sora agreed almost wistfully. “But you should rest a bit longer.”

It was easier to relent than it should have been. Then, Sora perked up.

“Hey, you see that?” He pointed out toward the water where a faint shimmer rested. Sora jumped up, rushing toward it. When he returned, there was a clear bottle in his hand. “It’s got a note inside.” Unfolding it, a smile spread over his face. “It’s Kairi! She found us.” There was such trust and love in his voice that Riku couldn’t help smiling just as broadly.

“What’d she say?”

Sora read the note aloud, the words filling the air as if alive with her power of light. Far off upon the horizon, a blinding light cut through the surrounding darkness.

“It’s the Door to Light, Riku! We’re going home!” He tugged Riku up, slinging his arm over his shoulder so he could support his weight again as he moved them toward it.

Kairi stood there upon the bright shore, waving ecstatically with the largest grin Riku’d ever seen. Other friends were there, but Riku only had eyes for her. “Welcome home!” she shouted even before they were out of the water. Her hand found Sora’s first, just as expected. She looked close to tears of relief. Then she turned to Riku and barreled into him. He was surprised, but soon his arms found her back and held gently as if she were the most fragile piece of glass.

She half-giggled, half-chocked against his shoulder. “You’re never leaving me behind again, you hear me.”

“Promise.” He kissed the word into her hair.

Change was inevitable, yet Sora and Kairi attempted to act as if it wasn’t. They returned to classes, walking to and from school together just as before. Once a week, Riku and Kairi would stay for dinner at Sora’s, and more often than not, the three of them would hang out together for hours each day.

But Riku could feel the invisible distance between him and them. His actions still hung in the air making it difficult to let go. He also didn’t miss the shift in Sora and Kairi. Those flirtatious eyes, that lilt in each other’s name, the brush of fingers when they thought he wasn’t looking.

It had always been Kairi. He had always been Sora’s best friend; Kairi something else. It was the same for Kairi. Her affections for Sora had never been a secret.

So, Riku began to make up excuses to give them some alone time. That night’s homework load would take him all night. His mother asked him to do extra chores. He had a family reunion. Each time, Sora’s smile faltered for a second before he told him not to worry about it. Kairi was better at pretending not to care, her eyes crinkling pleasantly when she told him she’d see him the next morning.

Really, Riku was fine with this. They deserved a happy ending after everything they went through. What he wasn’t fine with were the nightmares that plagued him. Almost every night he would wake in a cold sweat, limbs thrashing in terror of inky strands of darkness that weren’t there. He could feel the chilled bite of it against his skin no matter how tight he wrapped his blanket, and when he closed his eyes again, all he could see were Sora and Kairi dying as he remained powerless to do anything.

They were eating him away from the inside. It had become so bad that Kairi noticed the dark circles under his eyes. As much as he wanted to tell someone, just to get it off his chest, there were things they just didn’t talk about (namely the things he had done). So, he clamped his feelings down.

“Just not sleeping well.”

She didn’t look satisfied, but let it drop.

Not once had Riku wondered if Sora dealt with his own trauma. Everything seemed to bounce off him. He seemed untouchable. But one night, Riku found himself lying awake listening to the sound of a fierce tropical storm. They weren’t uncommon, but this one was strong enough to make the house noticeably shake, and the shrill cry of the storm was impossible to sleep through. His phone was still on, the small light coming from it a small comfort, so when Sora’s caller ID appeared on the screen he answered on the first ring.

“Sora? What’s wrong?” His voice came out gruff with grogginess.

“Ri..ku?” In comparison, Sora’s was small and timid. A bad sign.

“Are you okay?”

“No?”

The fact that it was a question bothered Riku, and he held his phone tighter. “Are you home? I’m coming over.”

“Don’t hang up,” he pleaded.

“I won’t.”

Going outside was crazy, but how many times had Sora acted the crazy one for him? He owed Sora this much. So, Riku weathered the storm by means of only a jacket, worn more to protect his cellphone than himself. The storm was deafening, yet he could still make out Sora’s nervous breathing on the other end. He tried to make conversation, unaware whether or not he could even be made out over the background noise. “I’m coming, don’t worry,” came most often.

What was in reality only ten minutes felt like an hour, and when he finally entered Sora’s house (which, like most houses on the islands, was never locked) he was drenched to the bone. Tossing his jacket onto the coatrack to dry, he ran up the stairs, not even caring if he woke Sora’s mother in the process.

When he threw the door open, he found Sora folded in upon himself, knees hiked up and head bent down. He met Riku’s eyes with bloodshot ones. Riku tugged him into a hug, all reservations gone. “I’m here,” he whispered soothingly.

Sora’s hand grasped at his back, and his face buried itself into his chest. “I thought…I thought it was happening again. I thought you were…”

He broke off, and Riku tugged him closer. “Everything is fine. I’m here.”

“I know.” There was a silence, before he said, “I had a nightmare.” The chill Riku suddenly felt was not from the rain still clinging to his skin. “You were gone again. No matter how long I searched for you, I couldn’t find you anywhere. Kairi helped, but then she was gone too. I was all alone. Then the darkness came and swallowed everything. _Everything_.”

“Shh,” Riku tried to soothe despite the fear welling in his own chest. “I’m here, and Kairi’s at home in bed. We aren’t going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

There it was again, a request that he stay by their side. The assurance that he was wanted. How badly he wished to be wanted in that special way. “Yeah,” he answered easily. “I’ll always be right here, for as long as you want me.”

“Good.” Sora sighed, sounding ten times better. But then he asked, “Are you sure Kairi’s okay?”

“Want me to call her over? Will that make you feel better?”

“Can you?”

A second later, Riku pressed the call button, and Kairi answered just as quickly as he had for Sora. “Riku? What’s up?”

“Sora’s not doing so well. Can you come over here?”

“On my way.” From the sound of it, she already was.

It took her less than ten minutes to get there, entering about the same way Riku had. She was still dressed in a nightgown, and her hair was wildly windswept. “Sora?” she panted, eying the scene in front of her.

Riku expected her to look surprised or jealous, but there was only worry. Still, Riku dropped his arms under her gaze. “He had a nightmare about us.”

Kairi went to Sora’s other side on the bed. She pulled his head to her chest, letting her hand thread through his hair. Riku was envious of how easy it was for her to act so freely. “It’s alright,” she cooed. “We’re here. We’re always gonna be here.”

“I know, it’s just…I don’t know that in the nightmare.”

“I had one, too,” she admitted, taking Riku aback.

Of course, they had all been through so much. No one could remain unscathed. But still, they both seemed so light, so invulnerable. Especially Kairi, whose light should have scared all the darkness away. But here all three of them were cowering in the fear of a traumatic past and uncertain future. The only certain thing was that they were together.

Kairi’s hand found Riku’s, and he took it, unsurprised when Sora’s found his other not soon after. Eventually, they shifted so they were laying on the bed, even though none of them deluded themselves that sleep was an option. Sora’s head was tucked under Riku’s chin, Kairi’s own pressed into Sora’s shoulder. Sora’s arms hugged Riku’s middle as Riku stretched his outer arm to encircled both of them. It should have been strange for three teenagers their age to be snuggling like this, but neither of them seemed to mind, so Riku tried not to either. If not for the circumstance, it would have been perfect.

Drossiness muddled Riku’s mind, and he placed a light kiss to Sora’s forehead. “Love you,” he muttered before realizing it. When he did, his gaze snapped to Kairi who was smiling just as before. Maybe she hadn’t heard him?

Sora’s breath hitched. “Love you, too.”

Riku’s heart raced erratically. Just when he was going to question him, Kairi murmured something against Sora’s skin. Then she tilted her head upward, meeting Riku’s gaze.

“Love you.” It was more of an afterthought than anything, but one out of tiredness rather than lack of sincerity. It was so easy for them. It was…impossible.

“I…” He could not find the words to express himself as his insides shook. But Sora and Kairi. _Oh_. He choked out a laugh, feeling so very stupid.

Kairi gripped his shoulder. “You okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m excellent.”

“Hey,” Sora pushed himself up so he could look Riku over, “you weren’t trying to hook me and Kairi up, were you?” He gave him a disappointed look.

“You caught me.”

“Riku!” Kairi scolded. “You are such an idiot. First you hide yourself from us for an entire year, now this. What are we gonna to do with you?”

“Hmm.” Sora touched his chin in mock thought. “We could tie him up so he can’t run away again.”

Kairi’s face lit up. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“Wait, guys!” Riku raised his arms in surrender, but they tackled him, limbs tangling together.

“We don’t have any rope, so this will have to do,” Kairi teased.

“Better this way,” Sora said.

Uncontrollable laughter spilled from Riku. At himself, at the situation, at their breaths tickling his skin. Once the worst of it was over, his arms found them both. “How many times do I have to promise not to leave again?”

“Until it’s true,” Sora said immediately.

“I swear I mean it this time. I’d never dream of leaving now.”

“I’d hope not,” Kairi teased. “We’re quite the dream come true.”

“The best.” Riku couldn’t see that well, but he thought she blushed at this.

“As long as that’s settled,” she muttered against his chest.

Somehow, inexplicably, sleep did find them. Then the morning sun, appearing to shine brighter than before. Wakefulness came slowly, however, as they remained cuddled impossibly tight.


End file.
